


HSWC 2014 Bonus Round 6 Fills

by spockandawe



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Beforus, Blood, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Cannibalism, Death, Depression, Developing Relationship, Dismemberment, Documentaries, Dom/sub Undertones, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Engagement, Erotica, F/F, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Dates, First Kiss, Flirting, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Gen, Incest, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Monsters, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Parent Death, Physical Abuse, Police, Politics, Pseudo-Incest, Regency, Roleplay, Science Fiction, Silly, Sitcom, Slice of Life, Sports, Tickle Fights, Zombies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-29
Updated: 2014-08-11
Packaged: 2018-02-10 21:25:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 9,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2040762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spockandawe/pseuds/spockandawe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All my written fills for the sixth bonus round of the 2014 HSWC. Some of these go into potentially upsetting topics, but relevant warnings for each of the stories are listed in the notes at the beginning of each chapter.</p><p>These prompts took the form of genre mash-ups.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dirk♥Equius: Motivational Sports Movie + Bara

timaeusTestified [TT] began trolling centaursTesticle [CT]  
  
TT: Remember, bro.  
TT: Unless we bring home the money from winning this tournament, we won't be able to keep the club team going.  
TT: Also, it's our last year in high school.  
TT: After this, we'll go our separate ways to college, so this is our last chance to play together.  
TT: And don't we have some players working to overcome their personal challenges or something?  
CT: D--> Yes  
CT: D--> I believe we have one first year student who has nurtured private talent without any e%ternal enouragement who has found his personal awakening on this team  
CT: D--> Additionally  
CT: D--> There is a pair of childhood friends who were only reunited at our tryouts this year and are e%pressing their STRONG emotions through sports  
CT: D--> As well as my own protege  
CT: D--> An outwardly unpromising youngster  
CT: D--> Yet I see potential in him and am tutoring him in the ways of STRONGNESS  
TT: Damn.  
TT: Lots of shit riding on this last season, then.  
TT: I think we've even got one kid with a best friend at our main rival school.  
CT: D--> Indeed  
TT: The rival school we'll face in the tournament finals?  
CT: D--> Yes  
CT: D--> Unless we lose a single game before then of course  
TT: Of course.  
TT: It's gonna be a hard couple of weeks then, bro.  
CT: D--> It c00ld be  
CT: D--> However I have faith in the STRONGNESS of our team  
CT: D--> Both emotional and physical  
TT: Damn straight we've got some serious physical strongness going on  
TT: Even the little dudes on the team are really starting to get the act together.  
TT: Looking like real athletes up in this joint.  
TT: Plus, I was watching you in the weight room today, and let me tell you something.  
TT: You are absolutely free to flex at me any time you fucking want.  
CT: D--> Oh  
CT: D--> Oh my  
CT: D--> Not to be untowardly forward  
CT: D--> But I believe I can reciprocate your sentiments  
CT: D--> In that you are also free to fle% at me any time you desire  
TT: Ha, bro.  
TT: If you're going to talk about desire, then that's a lot of flexing you'd better be prepared for.  
CT: D--> Oh dear  
CT: D--> Ah  
CT: D--> I think I need a towel  
CT: D--> And  
CT: D--> Again  
CT: D--> Likewise  
CT: D--> In regards to fle%ing  
TT: Sounds good to me, man.  
TT: Hey, you know what?  
TT: After practice tomorrow, the two of us should hang out and, you know.  
TT: Show each other just how STRONG we are.  
TT: One on one, if you know what I mean.  
CT: D--> I  
CT: D--> I w001d be agreeable to such a scenario  
TT: Sounds like a plan, then.  
TT: I'm betting you'll be at morning practice too?  
CT: D--> Indeed  
TT: Then I should probably get some sleep now, since I'll be seeing you in a few hours.  
TT: Have a good night, bro  
  
timaeusTestified [TT] ceased trolling centaursTesticle [CT]


	2. Handmaid♥Redglare: Film Noir + Period Piece

          She puts down her embroidery hoop and stands as you walk into the drawing room. Seems all these dames sure love to embroider, but you can't say it's a thing you were ever fond of. When she curtsies and murmurs, "Miss Pyrope," there's something about the look in her eye that just seems... off. And then you catch a look at her embroidery hoop and what she's working on doesn't look so much like decorative flowers, and more like a green skull with eyes the color of the whole spectrum. Heh. Maybe she's your kind of dame after all. You bow and say, "Miss Megido."  
  
         The two of you take a turn about the garden. You say it's for the fresh air and moonlight, but even in a classy hive like hers, the walls have ears. Against your trousers, it's easy enough to see where you're carrying knives and a pistol, but when you follow her out to the garden you think you spot some suspicious silhouettes under her loose skirt. She's damn good and keeps her poker face on when you mention 'Lord English,' but you don't miss the way her eyes flicker to you once before she shakes her head and tells you she's never heard the name. Once the two of you have made it to the furthest corner of the garden, under a drooping willow tree, you tell her that you're onto her game.  
  
         You don't rattle her. The way she smiles and plays the innocent is a nice act, and it might even work if you didn't already have solid evidence on your side. Even when you tell her she'd hang if you turned her in, all she does is laugh and tilt her head at you. She probably knows you wouldn't give her over to the law, and to be honest, you don't quite mind her knowing. She tells you that she wouldn't give you up to her boss either, and. Well. You can appreciate that she returns the sentiment. When she's got you up against the tree trunk with her mouth all hot against yours, you get your fronds on those curving horns of hers and you're pretty sure what you're feeling under your fingers is healed damage. Sure a different picture from the dame of breeding and property she likes people to see her as. When her fronds start working their way up under your shirt and she presses close up against your chest, you're pretty sure she's definitely your kind of dame after all.


	3. Aradia♥Equius: Supernatural Horror + Regency Romance

         You are rather distressed when one of the undead bursts in through your drawing room window when you are entertaining a guest. You catch it up in a neat swirl of psi, carefully severing all limbs before sweeping the parts of it out through the shattered window, following it to be sure it approached your hive alone. There appear to be no others around, and given that the sun rose several hours before, the light is certainly good enough to see that there are no undead anywhere near your hive. You deposit the one you killed some distance away, and immediately make your return, but even in that brief period of time, you can already feel your skin beginning to burn. As you approach your hive door, you are quite touched see Equius standing outside waiting for you. He's even tacked a piece of cloth over your broken window, but he's much cooler-blooded than you are, and where you are a little burned, he is _very_ burned, and you immediately pull him back inside.  
  
         You make your apologies for putting him to such inconvenience and set about tending his burns, but he steadfastedly insists that it was no inconvenience at all. He mops absently at his face with a towel as you gently place salve on his cheeks and ears. Once you are finished, he insists on returning the favor, with his face flushed more blue than the burns can account for, and indeed, you believe your cheeks are rather warm by the time you tell him that you would appreciate the gesture. He cracks the jar when he takes it from you, but his hands against your face are as gentle as you've ever felt. It is perhaps improper for the two of you to be providing each other with such care, but you _do_ share an engagement of long standing.  
  
         When he eventually pulls back, sweating nervously, you take the jar of salve from him with a smile and place it on a table. You make some mention of the late hour and ask if he should begin the return journey to his own hive, but he insists that your hive window must be repaired before he will feel comfortable leaving you. To depart when you are in such a state of vulnerability, he says, would be unforgivable. You tell him it is _most_ unkind to ask you to let him stay longer when he's already been burned badly and the return journey will only become more difficult as the sun rises further, and watch his stricken face for just a breath before you relent and allow him to assist you. In many ways, the companionable labor as you repair your hive together is even more pleasant than it was to simply sit in your drawing room and talk.


	4. Jade♥Nepeta: Nature Documentary + Romantic Comedy

         You know you're giggling, but you can't help it. This is funny! "And here we see the wild cat-- _purrbeast_ in its natural habitat."  
  
         Nepeta twists around on the floor until she's lying on her back looking up at you, and then she crosses her eyes and sticks out her tongue. "If you're willing to use that kind of footage in documentaries, you humans are even further behind us in filmmaking than I thought!"  
  
         You stick your tongue out right back at her, because you are a mature adult ambassador to an alien race. "Durr, it'll be dubbed over later! And depending how it's going to be marketed, this could be a silly documentary _or_ a serious one, so nobody minds if I bring back silly footage."  
  
         She snorts, but she's still grinning. "Then I shall have to be as strange as possible!" She rolls over until she's wrapped around your legs-- and then she starts gnawing (gently!) on your ankle. You shriek and try to jump away, but she grabs your leg and you fall over right onto her (which is fine because she totally deserves it). She laughs, "In my exotic alien culture, that's how we show affection!"  
  
         "In my exotic alien culture, we show affection through tickle torture!" She tries to run, but you're still on top of her and she can't _quite_ manage to get free before you get your hands on her grubscars. It's her turn to shriek now, and the two of you roll over and over on the floor. You float the camera up so that it doesn't get broken, and ha, if you're actually getting any footage of this, you don't know _what_ the editors will think! Maybe it'd be best to do a little editing of your own and cut this part out before you pass along your recordings.  
  
         Nepeta eventually tries to turn the tables on you, which makes things tricky because she's a lot stronger than you, but you're not as ticklish anywhere as she is on her grubscars, so you stay pretty evenly matched, wrestling each other (and making a complete mess of the room in the process). Eventually, you're both worn out, lying in a corner with her draped across your chest, both of you breathing heavily and completely unable to catch your breath because of how hard you're still laughing.  
  
         Eventually Nepeta stretches up and presses her lips against yours. "In my exotic alien culture, this is _actually_ how we show affection."  
  
         It takes a moment for your brain to catch up, and by the time it does, Nepeta's blushing an adorable olive green and starting to pull back. You put your arms around her right away, tug her close, and kiss her back. "Funny thing, in my exotic alien culture, that's how we do it too."


	5. Jade♥Feferi: Science Fiction + Goopy Romance

cuttlefishCuller [CC] began trolling gardenGnostic [GG]  
  
CC: Any word yet on when the fleet w)(ale be coming in?  
GG: nope  
GG: sorry!!  
GG: and even if there is word im still supposed to tell you no because of security reasons  
CC: I am the --EMPR-----ESS!  
CC: You'd t)(ink I'd be allowed to know these things. >38(  
GG: i know!  
GG: i dont make the rules though :(  
CC: And you still get in trouble if you break them.  
GG: sorry :((((  
CC: No no, not your fault!  
CC: I just wis)( you were coming back )(ome 38/  
GG: i do too  
GG: i miss you a lot!!!  
CC: I bet it's not as muc)( as I miss you!!!  
CC: W)(ale, t)(ey DO tell me some t)(ings as empress at least  
CC: I know t)(at star system's defenses are crumbling fast, miss c)(ief gunnery officer!!! 38)  
GG: ;D  
GG: you got me there!  
GG: but i have no idea if well be coming in for maintenance after this or if theyll want us to take on another system  
CC: Or, you're following those silly S---ECURITY protocols and trying to trick me!  
CC: Lying to the empress is a S---EARIOUS offense!! 38D  
GG: oh no!!!  
GG: what is my punishment going to be?? ;)  
CC: )(ee, w)(ale let me t)(ink.  
CC: It's going to be a P--ERSONAL interrogation, for sure!!  
CC: T)(is is private business between the two of us!  
GG: oh my!  
GG: your reformation!!! :O  
CC: I'd probably )(old you down and make you pay!  
CC: With TICKL--E TORTUR------E!!! >38)  
GG: haha oh nooooo!!! XO  
CC: And then w)(en you begged for mercy, )(mmm.  
CC: I'd probably kiss you all over your silly face until you were sorry for not telling me --EV----ERYT)(ING!  
GG: but i already am sorry for that :(((  
GG: i really really really wish i could tell you more  
CC: Oh no no, I didn't mean it like t)(at!!! 38(((((  
CC: I just wis)( you were )(ere reely reely bad, and I'm not mad at you or anyt)(ing.  
CC: I know it's the rules, I just wis)( the rules were different. 38(  
GG: i do too  
GG: its just not the same over chat!!  
GG: its much different when i can be there in person and just sit there with you and let everything be comfortable and quiet  
CC: I know.  
CC: You're so warm and I can just curl up all around you and let t)(ings get all toasty and perfect.  
GG: and you can be all cool and stop me from overheating when we cuddle for ages! :D  
CC: ...  
CC: It's lonely )(ere wit)(out you 38(  
GG: :(((((((((  
GG: its lonely out here too  
GG: but  
GG: without reference to anything official my superiors have said about our assigned missions  
GG: a lot of the crew is aching to get back home  
GG: i dont think anyone on board wants to stay out for much longer  
GG: but no matter how soon we get back  
GG: its not going to feel like soon enough :(  
CC: I know w)(at you mean 38(  
GG: ugh that got really gloomy  
GG: lets try to make things happy again  
GG: go back to this private interrogation youre supposed to be having with me  
GG: tell me again how youre going to make me sorry? :D


	6. Redglare & The Handmaid: Buddy Cop + Slasher

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for blood, death, and dismemberment in this story

         The two of you hit the wall together, one on either side of the hiveblock door. You lean up against the plaster, catching your breath for a moment before you look over at your partner. She's breathing hard too, but grinning in that fantastically off-putting way she has. From what you can tell with a quick once-over, she's got plenty of blood on her, but it doesn't look like she's been hurt at all. You haven't taken any significant damage either. Perfect. Now, the two of you _could_ wait for your backup. It should be here in, oh, five minutes at the very most. But that would be enough time for the criminals on the other side of this door to make their escape. When you whisper the suggestion to Damara that the two of you should wait, she grins even wider, laughing silently and reaching over to punch you on the arm.  
  
         Right, then. You've had your break, neither of you are injured, and there is _justice_ to dispense. Damara has her needles firmly in hand, and you've got your sword. Nonstandard strife specibi for police officers, but nobody can really argue when the two of you get better results than any other pair of partners in the department. Damara knocks down the door with a blast of psi and you follow on through the new hole in the wall before anyone on the other side will have the chance to get their bearings. She follows up behind you before they can overwhelm you in numbers, and yes, this is _perfect._ You've read about aliens that place a major emphasis on bringing criminals in alive to face trial, and _god_ you are glad to be a troll.  
  
         Damara's a terror with her needles, but you like to think you get on pretty well with your sword. Her weapon does have the advantage of leaving less _mess,_ since it tends to vaporize when it gets a clean hit. You end up having to kick severed limbs and heads to the side while you try to do your work, but hey, it's a hazard of the job. When you almost trip over a stray half-torso she left behind, you shout over the noise that she should clean up, and then guard her while she sweeps the floor clean so you can finish your work. Once your backup arrives, the two of you have cleared out the entire hiveblock and are having fun trying to match stray body parts to their original trolls. _God,_ you love your job.


	7. Rose♥Roxy: Chick Flick + Lovecraftian Horror

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for what I think may count as incest? Homestuck family relationships are hard.

         Dear, sweet, absolutely sentient diary,  
  
I believe that under, perhaps, generous definitions of the word 'date,' the outing Roxy and I went on together might reasonably be classed as such. Indeed, it lacked any purpose other than to spend time in each other's company. Is that not a date? Although, on further consideration, I believe it is not uncommon for purely platonic friends to gather in such a way. And yet, diary, was this truly platonic? As we entered the movie theater, she took my hand to assist me over the sprawling, twisting tentacles that had spread through the building's hallways. And yet, diary, may I not assume that there was a further motive to her actions? For she did not drop my hand as we took our seats and the movie began. Indeed, even as an ominous chittering slowly grew from the silence and gradually overwhelmed the theater, driving all inhabitants from the building, even then she held onto my hand.  
  
Diary, I think I must believe that her attentions indicate that her desires run parallel to mine. I must confess that I was left somewhat adrift by the interruption of the film and I was at a loss as to what to do with our afternoon. And yet her mood was left unaffected. She would have been well within her rights to return home and suggest attempting to see a movie another time, and instead she engaged me in a discussion of what we should do together. Diary, although I was shamefully flustered by the disruption of our plans, she insisted that she wanted to spend time together. Even though it was no more than to wander through the shops, drifting aimlessly in and out of stores, watching the soothing organic pulse of the walls, it was an entirely pleasurable outing.  
  
And now, diary, how far am I to read into her actions? Dare I hope that she has had as much pleasure in my company as I have had in hers? Here, I may confess myself somewhat uncertain in the particulars for how such a relationship is meant to develop. Ought I invite her to accompany me to view the twisted creatures that creep through the mountains outside of town? Or should I wait for her to propose the next outing, as seeing a film together was initially my own idea? Should I message her? Or wait for her to message me? Indeed, I am simply awhirl with nerves and anticipation. Diary, I would give a great deal to be aware of what her thoughts on the matter are, but as that must remain a mystery to me, I shall close for today with a simple 'farewell.'  
  
\--  
  
dear diaary  
  
operaiton hot date? TOTAL SUCCSES ;D


	8. Calliope & Caliborn: Slice Of Life + Psychological Horror

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for emotional/physical/psychological abuse in this story.

When you wake up, the first thing you do is check for traps. You're not terribly worried! Your brother has been setting them since you were little, and he's been threatening to kill you for even longer than he's been setting theoretically lethal traps. But even after so long, he's still not very good at the whole 'lethal' part. It doesn't look like there are any traps today, but it's always good to play it safe, just in case he gets lucky. You do keep trying to explain that killing you won't do much for his continued health, but of course he doesn't listen to you. You're not sure he's ever actually listened to anything you say.  
  
Once you sit up to undo your chain, you hear a crinkle from under you and just about jump out of your skin. Your first thought is that you missed a trap and that this is it, you screwed up and he got you, but no. It's just a picture your brother left for you to find when you woke up. It... it's hard to tell with his art, but you do think that's supposed to be a drawing of you dripping with blood. He does draw rather a lot of those. You add it to the pile of his art that you keep on your side of the room. There's rather a pile he's done by now. You think about sorting them sometimes, but with how difficult it is to tell _what_ he draws, it would basically work out to 'pictures of Calliope dying' and 'other things.' And most of it would fall into that first category. You add the newest picture to the top of the stack, and start cleaning your room.  
  
It's a bit unfair, because the last thing you do before going to bed is to clean your side of the room, and it's _also_ the first thing you do when you wake up. But even if it's a pain, it's much better than waiting to accidentally discover what your brother managed to do from his half of the room. The pieces of meat and candy in your things are bad enough (especially when you miss something and it starts to go bad before you realize it's there), but lately he's been having a good time finding new ways to hurt you. You're not quite sure how he keeps finding so many things with sharp edges to waste on you, but it's really quite amazing how good he's gotten at throwing things accurately. And yes, today after you were almost sure that you'd caught everything, you almost end up cutting yourself on a piece of broken glass sitting in your clothing. One last check to see if he's hidden anything in your sylladex-- There _is_ a piece of burning paper, but that only would have been a problem if you were _really_ being careless. You decapchalogue it on a bare section of floor and let it burn itself out without worrying too much, and sweep up the ashes once they're cooled. If you let on that it bothered you, that will only make it more likely to happen again. After that, your chores are finally done, and you have a few hours to sit down at the computer and talk to your friends.


	9. John♠Sollux: Sitcom + Buddy Cops

ectoBiologist [EB] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA]  
  
EB: hey there, ol' buddy, ol' pal!  
EB: and how are you doing on this fine morning?  
TA: oh god  
TA: what do you want  
TA: 2la2h we have patrol twogether iin liiterally an hour why cant thii2 waiit  
EB: soooo, my dad is coming into town tomorrow.  
TA: ok and what am ii 2uppo2ed two do about iit  
EB: nothing, really!  
EB: i like it when he visits.  
TA: ok then what do you WANT  
TA: am ii 2uppo2ed two be readiing your miind or what  
EB: nothing much!  
EB: it's really hardly anything at all!  
TA: oh god thii2 ii2 goiing to 2uck  
EB: i mmmmay have accidentally told him that im dating someone.  
TA: ...  
TA: ok  
TA: 2o  
TA: have ii been readiing thii2 whole relatiion2hiip wrong or  
EB: oh!  
EB: no no, not like that!!  
EB: i just mean HUMAN dating.  
TA: what that weiird bull2hiit that2 2ort of liike flu2hed but iit2 mo2tly ju2t a fuckiing me22  
EB: that's the ticket!  
EB: i need you to be my human-dating boyfriend.  
EB: who is an alien.  
TA: oh would you look at that ii 2eem two be booked for patrol2 for the next 2oliid week  
TA: what a tragedy  
EB: aww, chumbuddy, don't be like that!  
TA: dont you call me your fuckiing chumbuddy when youre a2kiing me two fake a whole other quadrant ju2t two make your lu2u2 happy  
TA: go fiind a diifferent human-datiing boyfriiend or whatever  
EB: also we have the same patrol schedule!  
EB: it'll be perfect for planning purposes.  
EB: just you and me in a car, plotting how we're going to keep the wool over my dad's eyes.  
TA: ok what liike planniing how iim goiing to 2abotage thii2 whole thiing  
TA: because that2 how thii2 ii2 goiing to go iif you force me intwo thii2 me22  
EB: no, no!  
EB: not at all!  
EB: just little things, like figuring out how we can channel this hatelove thing into traditional human emotions!  
TA: fiir2t  
TA: youre makiing me pay for your faiilure to educate your lu2u2 about the ba2iic fuckiing meaniing of QUADRANT2  
TA: so yeah that2 a 2oliid FUCK NO  
TA: 2econd  
TA: fuck you  
TA: nothiing el2e to add there really  
EB: aww, buddy.  
TA: dont you fuckiing aww buddy me  
TA: ii am goiing two lock you iin the back of the patrol car when we get off 2hiift twoniight ju2t you watch  
EB: it's okay if you don't think you're up to it!  
EB: i'll just message karkat and see if he's interested.  
EB: (he'll do it if i make puppy eyes at him.)  
TA: ok NO  
TA: you leave karkat out of thii2 you a22hole  
EB: it's fine!  
EB: and, you know.  
EB: he'll probably be a better actor than you, so this works out perfectly!  
TA: what the fuck do you mean hell be a better actor than ii wiill  
TA: what kiind of bull2hiit logiic went iinto THAT judgment call  
EB: no, don't worry about it!  
EB: you kind of get up in your own head, you know, and forget what you were originally supposed to be doing?  
EB: you can just be my regular ol' hateboyfriend and then you won't have to worry about screwing up!  
TA: nope  
TA: that2 iit  
TA: you are an even biigger moron than ii thought iif you thiink that KARKAT wiill be le22 ea2iily dii2tracted than me  
TA: fiine  
TA: ii am your human-datiing boyfriiend for the week  
TA: thii2 ii2 goiing to go hiilariiou2ly wrong and iit wiill be nobodys fault but your own  
TA: when thii2 iineviitably come2 cra2hiing down on your head there wiill be nobody to regret your own horriible liife choiice2 but you  
TA: ii look forward two 2eeiing how your briilliiant plan faiil2  
TA: remember  
TA: you are regularly trapped iin the 2ame car and offiice a2 me for liiterally hour2 on end  
TA: and ii am goiing two giive you 2hiit about thii2 for the re2t of our liive2  
  
twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling ectoBiologist [EB]


	10. Equius♥Roxy: Magical Girl + Trashy Romance Novel

TG: oh no!! *says the dahsing nd charmingly dihseveled magical girl rolal*  
TG: youve been ijnured protectign me in battle!  
TG: *she edgse closer to the maksed man, uncetrain of wehther her attenisons will b wanted*  
CT: D--> Er  
CT: D--> *The man wishes to convey that it was no trouble whatsoever*  
CT: D--> *And that her attentions are not unwanted in the least*  
CT: D--> I believe I am doing this incorrectly  
TG: ((nah babe ur fine just keep goin and dont u worry about a thnig))  
TG: but you were hurt bcause of me! :(  
TG: *magicla girl rolal steps up to hmi, reaching out towarsd his side*  
TG: *the mans totally baller musclse flex as he shifts, the cut across hsi stomcah still bleedign*  
CT: D--> *Yes, his muscles fle%*  
CT: D--> *But despite his injury, he is as STRONG as ever, and wishes to indicate that he has no regrets about this battle*  
TG: may i care for ur wounds??  
TG: ((ps if you wnat to do the whoel dialogue thign this is prolly a good place to go for ti ;) ))  
CT: D--> Um  
CT: D--> Yes  
CT: D--> I  
CT: D--> You may certainly care for my wounds  
CT: D--> I would be delighted to receive your attentions  
TG: *magical girl rolal gnetly eases hmi down to sit on the groudn*  
TG: *her skirt, whihc is cut darignly short (totes for max mobility) fltuters up in the breeze, showign a lnog stertch of leg ;))) *  
CT: D--> Ah  
CT: D--> *The masked fighter does notice, but does not call attention to it while the woman is occupied in tending to his injuries*  
CT: D--> *But they are most e%cellent legs*  
TG: *she sees his eyes flikcer downwrads, and blushes, but she carefully puhses him bcak to lie down  
CT: D--> *The fighter complies with her directions, being too STRONG to be pushed easily*  
TG: *magical gril rolal is grateful!*  
TG: *she runs her hnads down his chest, bcause even tho shesdefinitely gonna badnage him up good, those mucsles just cannot b resitsed!*  
TG: *her fnigers trail dwon his thorax and ovre his incredibel abs, skatign around the edgse of his wound*  
TG: *her face is totes bright red wiht how fantatstic thoes musclse are*  
CT: D--> *The masked fighter sweats profusely at the intimacy of her attentions*  
CT: D--> Additionally I am sweating in reality as well  
CT: D--> Please forgive the delay while I go find a suitable towel  
TG: ((no probelm, babe!! take ur time! no rush))  
TG: *she takes out her bnadages, but she cnat brign hrself to remove that one hnad from the fihgters chest*  
TG: *his logn flowing hair is spread outon teh groudn bneath him and he wtaches her with an intesnity that makse her tignle inside*  
CT: D--> Er  
CT: D--> *Yes*  
CT: D--> *He is struck by the 100k in her eyes as she carefully wipes his wound clean*  
CT: D--> *Her touch is so gentle where her fingers touch him*  
CT: D--> I  
CT: D--> Oh fiddlesti%  
CT: D--> I believe I am doing this incorrectly  
TG: ((ur doing graet!! but if its stressign u out dont worry about it!!))  
TG: liek for srs you were doing an awesoem job  
TG: but u dont need to keep goign if ur not enjoyign the experiecne!!  
CT: D--> It is not that I am not enjoying this  
CT: D--> But I find myself quite concerned that I am not living up to your e%pectations  
TG: ur fine i promise!!!  
TG: but we cna take a break for today  
TG: do u have questiosn to ask??  
TG: i can try to hepl wiht anythign ur worried about  
CT: D--> Yes  
CT: D--> That would be most suitable  
CT: D--> But I believe I can safely say that I w00ld like to try this activity again  
TG: awesoem!! :DDDDD  
TG: i can defintiely get behidn that  
CT: D--> And  
CT: D--> C00ld we possibly return to this scenario at a future point  
TG: babe i thnik i can safely say thta my response to that is a resoundign HELL YES ;)))))))


	11. Dirk/Terezi: Cannibalism + Trial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for discussion of cannibalism in this story

gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling timaeusTestified [TT]  
  
GC: D1RK!!  
TT: Yo.  
TT: What's up?  
GC: 1 H4V3 4 TH3ORY  
GC: 4 MOST SC4ND4LOUS TH3ORY  
GC: 4 MOST SHOCK1NG 4ND HORR1F1C TH3ORY!!  
GC: 1F TRU3  
GC: 4 S3CR3T YOU H4V3 B33N GU4RD1NG MOST SH4M3FULLY  
GC: 1 W1LL BR1NG TH1S TRUTH TO L1GHT!! >:]  
TT: Okay.  
TT: What did I theoretically do?  
GC: 1 POS1T  
GC: TH4T YOU  
GC: H4V3 CONSUM3D HUM4N FL3SH!! >:O  
TT: Yep.  
GC: ...  
GC: 1 4M PR3TTY SUR3 YOU 4R3 SUPPOS3D TO D3NY TH3S3 4CCUS4T1ONS  
TT: Nah.  
TT: I'm pretty sure it was some random dude who slipped at the wrong time and fell into my bro's food preservation shit.  
TT: Among your standard issue food products, I sure wound up with one (1) dead, preserved human.  
TT: On the other hand, I finished the last of him years ago.  
TT: How'd you hear about it?  
GC: ROXY TOLD M3 TH4T YOU W1R3D H1S SK3L3TON UP 4ND K3PT 1T 1N YOUR H1V3  
GC: BUT SH3 THOUGHT SH3 W4S JUST JOK1NG TH4T YOU 4T3 H1M  
GC: 1 THOUGHT TH4T W4S 4 M4JOR T4BOO 1N YOUR CULTUR3 >:?  
TT: Yeah, I guess.  
TT: But there comes a point when you're sick as hell of the rather limited options your bro saw fit to provide you with.  
TT: And you start wondering what that dude tastes like.  
TT: He's already dead.  
TT: He's not going anywhere.  
TT: I could sit in the sun for hours trying to fish for something new and exciting.  
TT: Or there's a nice convenient stash of meat sitting right there.  
GC: 1T K1ND OF T4K3S TH3 FUN OUT OF F1ND1NG YOU GU1LTY WH3N YOU JUST 4DM1T 1T L1K3 TH4T >:/  
GC: 4R3 YOU 3V3N 4 L1TTL3 4SH4M3D??  
TT: Nah.  
TT: I could pretend to be if you want, though.  
GC: NO 1T WOULDNT B3 TH3 S4M3  
TT: He wasn't using the body anymore.  
TT: I got to try my hand at tanning my own leather, and I got a kickass skeleton out of the deal.  
TT: Besides, I hear that cannibalism is standard troll practice anyways.  
GC: W3LL Y3S  
GC: GRUBLO4F 1S D3L1C1OUS!! >:]  
GC: BUT 1T WOULD H4V3 B33N SO MUCH FUN TO PUT YOU ON TR14L 1F YOU THOUGHT YOU H4D COMM1TT3D 4 S3R1OUS CR1M3  
TT: Sorry to rain on your parade.  
GC: NO NO  
GC: 1T 1SNT 4 PROBL3M  
GC: WH4T DO3S HUM4N T4ST3 L1K3 4NYW4Y??  
TT: Mostly like pork.  
TT: Or oinkbeast, I guess.  
GC: MMMMM >:]  
TT: What does grubloaf taste like?  
GC: HM  
GC: MOSTLY L1K3 GRUB  
GC: 1 R34L1Z3 TH4T 1S NOT 4 H3LPFUL 4NSW3R >:/  
GC: 1 DO H4V3 SOM3 DR13D GRUB L3FT 1F YOU WOULD L1K3 TO TRY 1T!  
GC: MY OWN R3C1P3!! >:]  
TT: Well, shit.  
TT: I can't pass up an offer like that.  
TT: Your place or mine?  
GC: MY H1V3  
GC: 1LL ST4RT TH3 PR3P WORK 4ND YOU C4N K33P M3 COMP4NY WH1L3 1 COOK? >;]  
TT: Sounds like a plan to me.  
TT: I'll be out the door in five.  
  
timaeusTestified [TT] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]


	12. GHB♥Psiioniic: Picaresque Story + Alternate Universe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a no-Sgrub Beforus AU

         You can never guess when the little fucker will come drifting back. Best motherfucking joke you've ever seen. He was handpicked to be Her Imperious Compassion's own helmsman, he was lined up to receive all manner of culling on account of his blood and disadvantages, and he was a bright enough spark of fire to stay _himself_ despite all that... and he threw it all away. He likes to brag about it well enough when he comes to see you, how he played along just far enough to get at the computers and wipe himself from the empire's records and make a run for it. He didn't offer to bring you along, which is well enough because you have a motherfucking _duty_ to the church, and you can't forsake it, even for him. But you'd thought you'd seen the last of him, and it just about broke your pusher.  
  
          You're not sure how he gets by. He tells you the stories, yes, but that motherfucker should have been captured and brought in for culling _sweeps_ ago with all the trouble he gives the empress. Her Insurrection is less set on that than the old empress was, but your Meenah does like a challenge, and he must be a temptation to her. By all rights, he should be easy to identify. There are only so many yellowbloods with the Gemini sign and doubled horns, and _none_ with his psi rating. He should have trouble even walking into a decent-sized motherfucking town, but he tells you all about his trips off-planet, and you have to wonder if he even gives mind to the risks. More than half of that fucker's stories are about close calls and daring escapes, but you've never once caught him acting worried.  
  
         When he left, you thought you'd never see him again. You were a risk, head of the church, too close to the empress, and he had no reason beyond pity to trust you. You did your best to put it out of mind and forget, and you can admit now that you were _this_ motherfucking close to breaking with the worry of it all. You were in chapel, accepting donations freely given from all along the spectrum, even from the empress herself, and it wasn't until the last of the worshippers were leaving and the faithful were shutting the church doors behind them that you saw the smiling face on old murals on the wall, freshly painted in a yellow painfully familiar. You did your duty, overseeing the storage of the paints and setting your brothers and sisters to rechristening the altar, and only then did you allow yourself to leave and _hope._  
  
         That motherfucker laughed when he saw your face when you walked into your hiveblock and found him there. You were right motherfucking frozen and awash with shock and disbelief, and he just laughed and laughed and yanked you over to him with a jolt of psi. It was some time before the two of you had mind or patience for explanations. He stayed that day and left in the evening. You woke alone in your 'coon to find him packing his backs (and stealing your own motherfucking breakfast), and you knew you couldn't hold him. He just grinned and said not to worry, he'd be back soon, and you did make effort to find the holy mirth in the situation, but it wasn't until the following day that you could smile at it. You did smile when he came at sat at your mass a perigee later, and again two weeks after that when you found him asleep in your 'coon. He collects scars and bruises and stories, and he never motherfucking stays long enough, but when you see the way he smiles, you know he would never have been happy in the path he'd been set on, and you find it in you to smile back, and let him wander.


	13. Rose/Vriska: Political + Yuri

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for vague references to war, genocide, and sex in this story

         It can be absolutely infuriating how difficult Vriska has to make even simple conversations. "Of course, the ambassador will have to be permitted to win some small victories, or we'll find it quite difficult to secure all the concessions we require. Perhaps a trade agreement of some sort? After sustaining an unwinnable war for so long, their economy must be barely functional. Or perhaps allowing them exclusive minining privileges within their own solar system, but pressuring them to undersell to us? Which do you think I should pursue in discussions tomorrow?"  
  
         Vriska doesn't even look up from her phone. "Mhmm."  
  
         You purse your lips. "And then, of course, I'll rip your bodice off and take you on the floor in front of the ambassador and her entire retinue."  
  
          "Mhmm."  
  
         You shut your notebook with an audible snap. "I'm glad you agree. Please wear something you don't mind being destroyed."  
  
          "Wait, what?"  
  
         "Oh, don't you worry. You get to just lie there and look alluring while I do all the work."  
  
         She rolls her eyes so hard you can practically _hear_ it. "Ugh, why do you even _care?_ We're just going to crush them and recolonize in a dozen sweeps or so. None of this negotiation bullshit actually _matters._ "  
  
         The expression you make is technically a smile, but there are rather a lot of teeth showing. "It _matters_ because if we keep the population _pacified,_ the bulk of the fleet can move on to a new system. _That_ matters because then a certain diplomat can keep requesting to be accompanied by a particular bodyguard, which she would not be able to do without maintaining an exemplary _performance record._ "  
  
         She just kicks her feet up on the table (because she knows you hate it). "Yeah, fine, whatever. We could've been done with this already, but yeah, let's sit around for weeks and spend most of our energy trying not to fall asleep, sure. If you'd just let me manipulate them--"  
  
         You can practically hear the 'eight' drop into place. "Then your influence would wear off as soon as we left, and the situation would be worse than before. This way, we can exploit them for goods and labor before finally wiping them out and recolonizing the planet. If you'd just _participate_ when I ask you to, we'd be able to finish more quickly and move on to more interesting work--"  
  
          "The ambassador didn't appoint her own staff. She doesn't trust any of them, and I think at least two of them want her dead." The noise Vriska makes when she sees the look on your face is an unlovely snigger. "That's why you keep me around, right? To look dangerous and watch people?"  
  
          You smooth the irritation from your face as you spread your notes across the table. "Well. That does open the door to some... _interesting_ possibilities."


	14. Alpha!Rose♥Roxy: Survival Horror + Erotic Literature

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for mild sexual content and homestuck-variety incest in this story

         When you open the book your mother left you, the first page simply reads "Close this. Open it when you need it."  
  
          You make a face and turn the page anyways. " _Roxy._ What did I tell you?"  
  
          You shut the book and put it back on your shelf.  
  
          Years later, basically dyyyying of boredom on a crushingly hot summer day, you pull down the book again and flip past the first two pages. "What a good girl for listening so well for so long." Wow. Whoa. You are _totally_ blushing, what? "But it's not time yet. Put it back."  
  
          Um, _no._ You are basically lonely as _fuck_ every day of forever, and this is practically like having a conversation with her. Like hell you're just going to shut it. You turn the page. "Roxy. I do promise I know how you're feeling, but this isn't the time. You need to put the book away. Don't test me, or I _will_ punish you."  
  
          That sends a shiver down your spine. You almost want to test her, but... Also she can pretty much read your mind. It's probably for the best to trust her on this.  
  
          More than a year later, you're racing through your home desperately trying to hide, escape, _something,_ from the huge-ass alien predator that crawled up out of the ocean. There's too many eyes, too many mouths, too many tentacles, too many _everything._ You stumble into your room through a fenestrated plane, grab a rifle off your desk and load it with shaking hands. You're about to jump through another plane when the book catches your eye. You pause for a moment because holy _shit,_ not the time, Roxy, but. You need her. You need _someone,_ and you're all alone and there's an alien monster in your _home_ trying to kill you.  
  
          You wait to open it until you've locked yourself in the greenhouse. You're hidden under a mess of vines, but there's still three clear exits. You open the book, and your hands are shaking as you turn those first pages. Fuck fuck _fuck_ it's just gonna say something about 'close the fuckin book Roxy, durr durr.' You take a deep breath and read. "Good girl. You're safe for a few minutes, but it's going to come looking for you soon." Your hands shake so hard the pages rattle, and _god,_ you can't shake the feeling that it's going to hear you, it's going to hear you and come _hunting--_ "You need to get up high. Get on the roof of the greenhouse." No, no, that's not gonna work, the sun-- "It won't be long. You'll burn a little, but it's your only chance. It's too dangerous to hunt it from down here."  
  
          You take one slow breath, collect the book and rifle, and make your way out of the greenhouse. You've got the _constant_ goddamn feeling of eyes on the back of your neck, and even the painful blaze of the sun when you unlock the rooftop door and step out is less unpleasant than that. You get down low to the roof, set up your rifle, and look back at the book. "Perfect. You have about thirty seconds. Do try to relax, you're doing wonderfully. You need to aim at the center of its back. Three shots should do it."  
  
          You do your best to breathe and relax. Your mom, she's the ultimate seer, right? She's gotta know what's what. She'd know if you were dead, or, or if this wasn't going to actually work she woulda had you read the book sooner. Right? Your train of thought gets cut off as the _thing_ comes boiling through the greenhouse door. You make a little stupid noise at the back of your throat and glance down at the book. "Take your time."  
  
          You. You take your time. You wait until it's in the middle of the greenhouse floor, a nice clear view, and take three shots at the center of its back. As you watch it scream and writhe, all you can think about is fuuuck, you're gonna have to clean up that glass. You almost start laughing from how dumb it is to be worrying about that at a time like this. Once you're sure the thing looks like it's dying, you pick the book up, keeping one eye on the monster and one on the words. "Roxy, that was _wonderful._ Well done. I'm very proud of you."  
  
          You're not ashamed to admit that you just about fuckin tear up and kiss that book like it's an actual person. You _wish_ she was here with you You wish you wish you wish you wish-- "Get inside. You're going to burn very badly if you stay out here for much longer."  
  
          Yeahh, the skin on your face and shoulders already feels a bit tight. You prod at your nose as you stand and walk back to the door. Yeah, it's fuckin time to say durr put the book away until you _need_ it Roxy, like you don't basically need her every day of every month or any shit like that. Once you're inside and the door is locked behind you, you slump down against the wall and open the book again. "No need to fret, I have no plans to tell you to put the book away. Indeed, while my primary concern may have been the danger to your life, ah, there is the matter that now you are, ahem. Old enough to perhaps understand what you and I are feeling--"  
  
          Whoa. Fuckin _whoa._ You have to put the book down and just breathe for a moment, because. No, see, this is just you. You're the one who got raised by the internet without any civilized human contact. It's easy enough to figure with a little reading that this kind of thing isn't _okay,_ you're just the fucked up one without a sense of decency who's wanting things she can't have, and this can't be _real_ \-- You open the book again. "Has that been sufficiently awkward for both of us? I believe it has."  
  
          That surprises a smile out of you. "You've been doing so well, Roxy, and I'm so proud of you. There are no words for how glad I am to finally give this to you." That sends a shiver down your spine, and you can feel yourself blushing. You clutch the book close to your chest as you read on. "You've listened to me very well so far, and I hope that you will continue to do so. I would like you to note just how many pages are left in this book, and I believe you will agree that we have a great deal of time to share with each other, as far as two people separated by centuries can be said to be sharing time."  
  
          You're nodding along as you read, and your fingers are rubbing nervous circles into the spine of the book. "Now, Roxy. I'd like you to take off your shirt."


	15. Feferi/Terezi: War Drama + Lovecraftian Horrors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for, surprise, war and Lovecraftian horrors, though there's also some discussion of death in this story.

gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling cuttlefishCuller [CC]  
  
GC: W3LL NOW  
GC: TH3S3 C3RT41NLY 4R3 SOM3 SOLD13RS BULK1NG OUT OUR FORC3S  
GC: TH3Y DO SUR3 H4V3 PHYS1C4L FORMS  
CC: O)( stop!!  
CC: You were the one complaining about )(ow OUTNUMB--ER---ED we were!  
CC: And now t)(at's not an issue 38)  
CC: You know you LOV------E it!!  
GC: TRU3 TRU3  
GC: 1 C4NNOT D3NY TH3S3 4CCUS4T1ONS!! >:]  
CC: And besides, t)(ey're just so CUT-------------E!!  
GC: P3RH4PS NOT TH3 WORD TH4T MOST P3OPL3 WOULD US3 TO D3SCR1B3 TH3M!!  
GC: BUT 1 H4V3 B33N QU1T3 1NTR1GU3D  
GC: YOU WOULD NOT B3L13V3 TH3 SN1FFS 1 H4V3 B33N T4K1NG OF TH3S3 CR34TUR3S  
GC: DO YOU TH1NK 1 M1GHT B3 4BL3 TO G3T CLOS3 3NOUGH TO T4K3 JUST ON3 SM4LL L1CK??  
CC: ...  
CC: I wouldn't try it.  
GC: >:[  
CC: T)(ese t)(ings aren't usually friendly to anyone!  
CC: You would not believe the favors I )(ad to call in to bring t)(em )(ere.  
CC: And more favors to be s)(ore they wouldn't just krill US!  
GC: 1 SUPPOS3 TH4TS ONLY F41R  
GC: M4YB3 1 W1LL F1ND SOM3ON3 TO T4K3 SOM3 N1C3 PHOTOGR4PHS 4ND JUST L1CK THOS3  
GC: TH4T M4Y NOT B3 34SY  
GC: MOST OF THE 4RMY DO3SNT S33M TO L1K3 TH3M 4S MUCH 4S 1 DO >:[  
CC: Awwwwww 38(  
CC: T)(at's too bad!  
CC: If nobody else will )(elp, I can do it t)(e next time I come to t)(e camp!  
CC: And I don't understand w)(y t)(ey don't like t)(em, because t)(ey're just ADORABUBBL-------E!!!!!!  
GC: OH!!  
GC: 1 D1D C4LL W1TH 4N 4CTU4L QU3ST1ON TO 4SK YOU  
GC: OUR FORC3S 4R3 QU1T3 L4RG3 NOW  
GC: SO M4NY MOUTHS TO F33D!  
GC: SUCH 4 GR34T NUMB3R OF MOUTHS!!  
GC: CONS1D3R4BLY MOR3 MOUTHS TH4N YOU M1GHT GU3SS B4S3D ON TH3 NUMB3R OF BOD13S >:/  
CC: O)(, you don't )(ave to worry at ALL!  
CC: It's going to be a LITTL---E )(eavy on the supplies at first.  
CC: But once we start engaging with the enemy, t)(ey'll be finding t)(eir own food out T)(--ER-----E!! 3;)  
GC: 4H!!  
GC: 4 MOST 3FF3CT1V3 SOLUT1ON >:]  
GC: BUT 1 MUST W4RN YOU TH4T MOST OF TH3S3 3NG4G3M3NTS T3ND TO 1NVOLV3 R4TH3R H34VY US3 OF CH3MIC4L W34PONS  
GC: W1LL TH4T B3 4N 1SSU3??  
CC: Not at all!!  
CC: As far as I can tell, t)(ey actually can't taste any difference! 38P  
GC: B3TT3R 4ND B3TT3R!!  
GC: 4ND SUPPLY CH41NS WONT B3 4 PROBL3M B3FOR3 TH3N??  
CC: NOP----------E!  
CC: Trust me, I have SW--E-----EPS of experience supplying fres)( meat to ravenous predators 3;D  
CC: We'll be COMPL--ET----ELY FIN--------E!  
GC: V3RY W3LL!!  
GC: 1 D3F3R TO YOUR SUP3R1OR JUDGM3NT 1N TH1S R34LM OF KNOWL3DG3 >;]  
GC: 1 SHOULD G3T B4CK TO K33P1NG TH3 SOLD13RS FROM P4N1CK1NG  
GC: BUT YOU SHOULD D3F1N1T3LY COM3 BY 4ND S33 YOUR N3W R3CRU1TS 1N P3RSON SOON!!  
  
gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling cuttlefishCuller [CC]


	16. Eridan♦Karkat: Tragedy + Pale Porn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for death of a parent and depression in this story.

         When your dad dies, you just... stop. You're plenty fuckin old enough to be livin on your own, you _knew_ that you'd have to leave him behind when you reached ascension, an it's not like this should be hittin you so hard. But it does. You just about manage to drag yourself to the pantry most nights, but eventually there's not really much food left in the hive an it's too hard to go out and get more. You're self-aware enough to realize that you're a fuckin _hypocrite._ You spent sweeps doin practically nothin but hunt lusii for Fef. You shouldn't be thrown off so bad that your dad died just as easily. You spend a lot a time just staring at your husktop screen. Fef an Kan an Kar an the others message you sometimes, but it's too much work to figure out what to say, an it's much easier to just slump on your desk an watch the words scroll by. You're aware that _sometime_ you have to get your ass in gear and get your life back on track, but... not now. You're just. So tired.  
  
          You're havin a wonderful time starin at the ceilin (because your husktop died an it's too hard to go get the power cord) when you hear someone poundin on your hive door. Distantly, you're pretty fuckin impressed that you can _hear_ them through all the ship in the way, an also that whoever it is still isn't realizin that you have a pagin system, seriously, it's _right there._ Eventually, you drag yourself upright and head off to the door. You almost forget to grab Ahab's Crosshairs. You should be more on top a your game than this. But when you get closer, you can hear the shoutin an cursin right through the door, and ha. You couldn't possibly mistake Kar. He's speculatin about the probable contributors to the genetic material that spawned _you_ when you finally open the door an he barges right in an doesn't miss a breath as he switches gear to abusin you for complete fuckin failure to make a response to even a single message.  
  
          You get about halfway through tryin to say that you're fine an he can go back home an he's shoutin over you that if you hadn't kept showin up online everyone would've thought you were _dead_ when he finally takes a good look at you an pauses. You're kinda distantly surprised at the look on his face. Sure, maybe you haven't been takin proper care a yourself, but you're only a bit rumpled. You aren't _that_ bad, an it's downright fuckin offensive the way he keeps lookin you up an down like he can't believe what he's seein-- He declares that you are currently the most disgustin troll he's ever had the misfortune to meet, an you're gonna take ablutions _right fuckin now_ or he's gonna throw you in the ocean.  
  
          He drags you to the ablution block an starts the trap fillin with water while he bustles around messin with all your ablution shit. He pretty much talks nonstop about all the beauty products money could buy an you've still gotta be forced just to clean yourself, an yeah, you're gettin _pretty fuckin resentful_ about the way he just explodes into your hive, judgin you left an right an forcin you to do all kinds a shit you don't _want_ to do. It takes him long enough to notice that you aren't really reactin at all, an the trap's about as full as it will go without overflowin when he shuts it off an turns to find you just kind a leanin against the counter starin at the floor. You _don't_ want to look at his face, but his voice is softer as he chivvies you along into takin off your clothes. An then he prods you until you climb into the trap.  
  
          He's startin to walk out the door when he looks back an sees you just sittin there an not movin, an before you can try to act right to get him to fuck right _off,_ he sighs, shuts the door, an walks back over to the trap. The look on his face is way too soft for Kar, an you resent the _shit_ out of it. Even when he pokes at the side a your head an asks whether you were ever plannin to wash your hair, all you manage to do is sort of pick up the shampoo bottle an hold it. You're an awful mix a embarrassed, angry, an hopeful when he takes the bottle out a your hand an squeezes some right onto your head. You jump because the _fuck,_ what kind a savage does it that way instead a puttin it on your _hand_ but then his fingers are runnin through your hair an it gets real hard to think about much anymore.  
  
          By the time he stops shampooin up your hair an eases you back into the trap, you're way too fuckin blissed out to think about much. Kar, on the other frond, is brick red. When he hauls you back upright, you think it's over, but no, your hair is apparently not clean enough to suit him an you get a whole extra round of this treatment. An the best thing is, it's downright fuckin impossible to _think_ when he's got you like this. No rememberin about dad, and, and-- _stuff._ There's just the feelin a Kar's fingers against your head, the way you can tell he's bein careful with his claws, an the electric flashes a sensation when his hands brush your horns. You lean into him, hardly knowin what you're doin. All he responds with is a steady stream a curses as he lowers you down to rinse your hair again, an damn, he looks seriously fuckin unreal with that blood a his when he's blushin this hard.  
  
          You sit up again, an he sarcastically asks if you can manage to wash yourself. It takes a moment to pull your pan back together, even a little, an you respond that your hair gets conditioner too. He actually laughs at that, an says that a _course_ your first full fuckin sentence was about beauty care, you self-absorbed little shit. It's another two rounds a his hands against your head, an it's so wonderful how fuckin hard it is to think when he's just _got_ you like that. But you spend a few minutes tryin to figure out what you're gonna say, how you'll try to explain yourself. You have this fuckin _perfect_ speech planned out, but you only get as far as, "Dad--" when your voice cracks, an you can't go on.  
  
          Kar's mouth twists, an you think for a moment that he's about to leave, cause that's some ugly fuckin shit to drop on someone out a nowhere, but he just says, "I wondered, when I came in and didn't see him." An then he pulls you up against his thorax, you soppin wet an gross an startin to drip nasty fuckin violet tears. His hand is on the back a your neck, just petting slowly as you lean into him. He's sayin little things into your ear, an you aren't in any state to talk, but you've never once heard Kar be so fuckin _gentle._ You carefully put your arms around his back, bury your face in his shoulder, and just sob.


End file.
